When you just do not fit in

When you just don't fit in, you get a voice in your head that tells you that.
I am in love, OK?
And..
Me and the guy I love are probably the only two people at our age that can actually be in love.
However...
He doesn't love me.
And on the other hand, there is this thing..
Kissing?
Not really.
Making out? More like it.
Except..
It's casual.
Like a one-night-stand for 12 yr olds.
And if you haven't made out, you are a reject.
Unless you have a boyfriend and want to take it easy with him.
Anyways, back to the love part.
He loves my best friend.
I had my hate phase, self-loathing phase, denial phase and now I'm in acceptance phase.
Except..
It's hard.
How can he not see that I love him so much I could give my life for him?
Or maybe,
Just maybe,
He does see it.
And what if he does, anyway?
Well, I know he would be the sweetest, most adorable boyfriend in the whole world...
And I just hope he knows Natasha is going to hurt him.
She doesn't know what she wants.
Anyways..
I love him more that life itself.
And I can really say that and mean it.
Now, back to the title.
I know I don't fit in.
The "gang" of populars...
It's like they're all in an active relationship with each other and it looks like they are a...
Couple, really.
No, srsly.
Do guy friends usually walk around hugging their girl friends?
Or, ya know, casually whispering in their ear and stuff?
Gawd.
I'm so jealous of them right now.