El Posto Firsto!

Okay, I have written three drafts of my first post and I didn't like any of them, so here I go: number four.

I'm not exactly sure what to say here, but I'll do my best.

I'm not sure what makes me different. I haven't really had any childhood trauma or life-changing experience. Personally, I think I'm just your average girl. I go to school. I do my homework. I play with my cats. I argue with my brother, and then we forget about the whole thing and watch a billion episodes of Top Gear together. I have parents (no, really?). I guess the only thing that's really different about me in that aspect is that my mom has an eye disease that is slowly deteriorating her vision. We don't know if or when she'll lose it completely, but we're hoping it'll be never or a very long time until then.

Today I realized that I'm kind of a prideful person, and that upset me more than what made me realize my pridefulness in the first place. Looking back on it, although it only happened a few hours ago, I see that the whole thing is kind of insignificant in comparison to other things people are going through, but of course, to a teenage girl, it seems like the end of the whole freaking world. Have you ever realized something about your personality that made you like yourself less? And then you tried your hardest to fix that, because you want to be this certain way, and not like that? Everybody always says "be yourself," but what if you don't think being yourself is the best thing? Such questions. I sound like a moody kid.

I must say, somewhere in this post (so I guess I'll stick it in here), that Zephyr's latest post was absolutely amazing, and I don't know how my lame, monotonous posts are ever going to compare, but I suppose I'll try. Although today might not be the best day for that. It hasn't been all full of cupcakes and rainbows.

Now for a little question. This might keep you up at night thinking about it, though I kind of doubt that. Is there a time when a person suddenly realizes who they truly are? Does a little 40-watt lightbulb appear over their head, go off with a "DING," and they go "Eureka! I know who I am!" Somehow, I seriously doubt that this cartoon-esque scenario is actually how it happens. But does it happen? Or do you go your whole life always trying to figure it out? I wish I knew. Then again, maybe I don't.

Sorry this post is rather pessimistic, although the blog is called The Daily Pessimist, so I suppose it fits.

Thanks for reading, if you did.

Sincerely,
Aravis